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3 Reasons To Think Less
and how to feel more
What’s up Philo fam!
I certainly do hope you got some SUN today considering it is Sunday 🌞
Which YES! That means I’m a day late in sending this week’s letter out.
Have grace on me 🙏 this week’s letter is well worth it!
Life update: I arrived in Austin, TX midnight Thursday after a 17-hour drive straight from Phoenix (brutal) but nonetheless I made it!
Wasn’t so much brutal as in tiring but my body did NOT like being in the seated position that long lol.
Last week I outlined a 5-week journey that addresses 5 Forms of Mental Chaos.
And in that first week, we spoke about the impact of Negative Self-Talk, Media as a trigger, and some actionable tips you can apply to reduce the negative chatter of the voice inside the mind.
For the 2nd week of this 5-week journey, we are going to discuss how to think less & feel more.
Additionally, we’re going to cover the second form of mental suffering which is over-worrying, money as a trigger to that worry, and what you can do to mitigate the suffering.
Ok, let’s begin 🤓
Think Less & Feel More
It’s often said that the mind is a terrible thing to waste.
This is especially true when it comes to anxiety and mental suffering.
The human brain is an amazingly complex machine, and it can easily become overloaded with thoughts and worries.
As a result, we may find ourselves feeling anxious and stressed on a daily basis.
However, there is a way to reduce anxiety and mental suffering: by thinking less and feeling more.
Wait, what do you mean Nadeem? Ok, let me explain a little more…
Did your parents ever say to you “What in the world were you thinking!”
I wonder how life would be if they would have said “What in the world were you feeling!”
I likely would have come up with better answers vs the traditional “I don’t know”, lol, it’s because, in fact, I wasn’t thinking, especially as a child, I was FEELING.
As children, we are so much more in our feels than our thoughts.
When we focus on our thoughts, we are more likely to become lost in them.
However, when we focus on our feels, we are able to stay present in the moment and better deal with whatever challenges we may be facing.
In addition, by feeling more, we are able to connect with our true selves on an even deeper level and find inner peace.
Leaning into your feels is a self-inquiry practice.
Next time you're feeling overwhelmed, try thinking less and feeling more.
Feelings are based on our past experiences, which we can not change.
Instead of worrying about what might happen, we can shift focus to what has already happened.
And this just might help us reduce your anxiety and overall mental suffering.
Chaos #2 - Worrying
It's hard to be happy when you're constantly worrying about everything.
You might worry about what other people think of you, whether or not you're good enough, or if you're making the right decisions.
This constant worrying can lead to anxiety and mental suffering.
A form of mental chaos that many people deal with is over-worrying (see last week’s letter for Chaos #1 - Negative Self-Talk).
It's the monkey mind at its worst: a never-ending loop of thoughts that keep us up at night and make it hard to focus during the day.
Worrying is a common response to stress and anxiety, but it is also a prime example of how mental chaos can be caused by anxieties that are beyond your control.
The problem with worrying is that it's often based on fears that are indeed out of your control.
You may worry about things like losing your job, getting sick, or being in a car accident, but there's nothing you can do to prevent these things from happening.
As a result, worrying is simply a wasted effort that only serves to make you feel more stressed and anxious.
Studies have actually shown that worrying can increase the level of stress hormones in the body, leading to further anxiety and even depression.
While it’s fine to worry about certain things every once in a while when the worry starts to take over your life it becomes chronic and can even become addictive or compulsive.
For example, it might be challenging for those who worry excessively to see clearly that certain situations are simply out of their control.
Not everything in life is predictable, but for some people, this fact can sometimes prove to be unbearable for them.
This results in a cluttered, worried, chaotic mind.
The best way to deal with worrying is to focus on the present moment and take actionable steps to address the underlying causes of your anxiety.
Which we will address more in depth in the action item section of this letter.
This may mean seeking professional help, making lifestyle changes, or learning new coping mechanisms.
By taking control of your worry, you can gain control of your life and start living a more peaceful existence.
You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength ~ Marcus Aurelius
By shifting the focus of your mind onto more positive aspects of life, it is possible to evade and eliminate a large portion of mental chaos that’s built up over time.
Trigger #2 - Money
One of the primary trigger points for over-worrying is the subject of money.
Money is often associated with a great deal of stress, particularly in today's uncertain economic climate.
Worries about money can cause a great deal of mental chaos, as they can lead to rumination and anxiety about one's financial situation.
It doesn't matter where you are in regard to your career; money is something that causes everyone a lot of fear, worry, and even regret.
If you’re continuously thinking about money and how to get more of it, there are a few things that you can do to help you think about it less.
Start by altering your mindset.
Rather than being anxious and worried about the lack of money you have, try being grateful for the money that you do have.
Then be upfront about where the money you make is going.
I use an app called Rocket Money to track this. It’s easy to use and free or the premium option is $3/mo and WELL worth it.
After you determine where you spend your money, you can start to cut costs wherever possible.
Philo Tip #1* Majority of people overspend on dining out.
Restaurants charge roughly 300% more for any given meal than it would cost to cook the same dish at home, according to an article at SoFi.com.
300%….let that sink in for a moment.
So what might cost you $5 at home will cost you $15 + tax + your time to go get it + the temptation to add the extras and all that jazz.
The median household income was $67,521 in 2020.
$67,521 / 300% = $22, 507
What could you do if you saved 300% ($22,507) of your income…
Even if you reduced eating out half the time you currently are now…that is still a significant amount.
Philo Tip #2* Cooking can be so fun and is also a great partner/family activity.
And you save 300%…lol, just to drive that part home.
If you find yourself worrying excessively, try to focus on what you can control.
For instance, you can't control whether or not you'll lose your job, but you can control how hard you work and how prepared you are for interviews.
You can’t control the 300% markup of eating out but you can control whether or not you start cooking at home more often than eating out. Thus, reducing your worries and fears around money.
As well as increasing your overall health because I guarantee, the food will not only taste better but be of better quality.
By focusing on what you can control, you'll be able to reduce your anxiety and bring some peace to your monkey mind 🙈.
Can you take an audit of what you can and cannot control?
Make a list and get it out of your head to reduce these worries.
When you list it out you can see it clearly and then make an action plan for what you can control.
If this is something you have struggled with in the past or are currently struggling with now then I invite you to please set up a free 15 minutes call with me and let’s solve this together.
You are not alone.
TL;DR (too long didn’t read)
Think less & feel more
Identify what you can control
Money is a big contributor to worry
Another form of mental chaos is over-worrying
Restaurants charge ~300% more than if you were to cook
Understand that much of what you worry about doesn’t actually matter in the grand scheme of things. When you accept this, it will be easier to focus on the things that are truly important and let go of the rest. Practice self-awareness and mindfulness so you can better understand your thoughts and emotions, and learn how to control them before they take over. Worrying won’t change anything, but taking positive action will. Start living a more productive life by focusing on what you can control and letting go of what you can't. How has this letter helped you start thinking about worrying in a different way? Please share in the comments below 🙏
Everywhere you look, you will see God.
Everywhere you look, you will see yourself.
Everywhere you look, you will see what a miracle it is to be alive.
I love you guys for showing up every week and I hope you find value from what I find and am learning along the way.
It would mean the world to me If you shared this with someone you know that may benefit or even better if you copied this link https://thephiloletter.substack.com/about and put it in your Instagram story or Facebook feed!
**See below - Philo assignment, past letters, and free workshops coming up*
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Take an audit of what you can and cannot control. If that even seems a bit too much then just focus on what you can control. Then make an action plan to improve the situation at hand. If you need support with this I encourage you to pick a time for a clarity call with me.
The SON™ Guided Prayer Meditation Candle - Comming Soon.