The illusion of control
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The illusion of control
and the parable of the Chinese farmer
Life is inherently unpredictable.
And the illusion of control, or the belief that we can exert complete influence over every aspect of our lives, often leads to disappointment, stress, and a fragile mindset.
You need to acknowledge and embrace uncertainty to nurture an “antifragile soul.”
When you do, you open yourself to serendipitous encounters and unforeseen opportunities.
The beauty in randomness allows us to adapt and grow in life's ever-changing landscape.
But before I continue…
High-Level Overview:
Quote: Spontaneous change
Today’s Thought Tunnel: The Antifragile Soul
Mental Model: The Illusion of Control
Parable: The Chinese Farmer
Lessons Learned: Let go of the need for control
"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like."
Lao Tzu
Today’s Thought Tunnel: The Antifragile Soul
Maybe you asked yourself, “what’s an antifragile soul”?
Well, I suppose I made it up…but not without inspiration.
Antifragility, a term coined by Nassim Taleb, describes systems that gain strength and improve from shocks and stressors.
Unlike resilience or robustness, which imply the ability to withstand or recover from harm, antifragility means thriving in volatile situations.
When applied to character development, antifragility suggests that embracing challenges and uncertainties can make us stronger and wiser.
So with that said, I’m suggesting that an “antifragile soul” is a metaphorical representation of an individual's character that grows stronger and more resilient in response to adversity, volatility, and uncertainty.
Just as antifragile systems thrive under stress and disorder, an antifragile soul uses life's challenges as catalysts for personal growth, wisdom, and self-improvement.
If we can learn to release the need for control and accept the inherent randomness and uncertainty in life, we become more open to new experiences.
The medicine once told me…
There is so much on the other side of surrender
This adaptability is an aspect of developing an antifragile soul.
The connection between the illusion of control and the antifragile soul lies in the understanding that releasing our grip on control allows us to be more adaptable and resilient.
I’ll explain the illusion of control now…
Mental Model: The Illusion of Control
The illusion of control is the false belief that we have complete power over our lives, events, circumstances, and outcomes.
It's a psychological phenomenon where we overestimate our ability to influence situations.
Which pretty much leads to disappointment and stress when things don't go as planned 🤷♂️
The mind has a wild way of creating illusions.
And we have a wild tendency to believe them.
These illusions can be rather harmful to our mental health.
And they blind us from the reality that much of life is unpredictable and beyond our control.
How quickly we can forget…
A parable that illustrates the illusion of control is the story of the Chinese farmer.
My best friend Derek Espinoza shared this parable years ago, and its always stuck with me…
The Parable of the Chinese Farmer
Once upon a time…
There was a wise old farmer in a small village in China.
One day, his only horse broke free from its corral and ran away.
The villagers, feeling sorry for the farmer, said, "What terrible luck!"
The farmer replied, "Maybe, maybe not."
A few days later, the horse returned, bringing with it a whole herd of wild horses.
The villagers exclaimed, "What incredible fortune!"
The farmer responded, "Maybe, maybe not."
The following week, the farmer's son tried taming one of the wild horses when he fell off and broke his leg.
The villagers, seeing the young man's pain, said, "What terrible luck!"
The farmer replied, "Maybe, maybe not."
Soon after, the emperor's army arrived in the village to conscript all able-bodied young men for a war.
The farmer's son, with his broken leg, was spared from the draft.
The villagers, realizing the turn of events, said, "What incredible fortune!"
The farmer simply responded, "Maybe, maybe not."
The parable of the Chinese farmer teaches us that the illusion of control can lead us to falsely label events as good or bad, without recognizing the inherent uncertainty of life.
Let go of the need for control and embrace life's unpredictability; if done so, we can adapt to change and cultivate an antifragile mindset that grows stronger through adversity.
Final Thoughts
As we walk the path of life.
It’s natural to desire control over our destiny and to strive for success and happiness.
This pursuit hardly ever ends in our favor.
The philosophy of Wu Wei offers a different approach.
Inviting us to surrender our need to force outcomes and trust in the natural course of things.
When you're ready, Here are some ways I can help you:
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